Marion Lake, photo taken by David Evans, 2009
This year, my goal has been to get closer to God. What does that mean? Well, I felt deep down, that I was just skimming the surface of knowing God for who He really is. Deep in my soul, I wanted more. I felt like I was doggie paddling in a pool saying, "I can swim" when really, I was keeping my head above water. I don't want to be like that.
Yet, when you say to others, I want more of God and I want to see His face daily. They look at you and think, "Ok... you are taking this Christianity thing a bit too far." I just read that sometimes you have to get out of your normal surroundings just so you can see more of Him because maybe the ones you worship with will keep you from experiencing the abundant life.
Going to a new church for bible study was the first step. Then, I felt deep in my heart that I needed to do my devotion time with God early in the morning instead of at night when the kidd-o went to sleep. It seemed like the only way to get the quiet I needed was to get up at an insanely hour. ;) Yet, since I have started this new schedule (January 1st) I have been able to see amazing things done in my day! I am getting more done than I did before. I have the joy I need to get through the day. Plus, the word I am getting ROCKS! It really gets more and more exciting to read the Bible. Every time I open it (I have been using the Daily Bible app on my phone and it loads different passages to read every day) it is like the word was placed right there just for me. Know what I mean?
Now, I hadn't considered this all to be in obedience until Tuesday. Bible study was good. We finished early, so our host went to close in prayer. As she was finishing her prayer, she realized that God wasn't finished yet and asked us all to stay in prayer. (This woman is spirit-filled and knows God intimately.) She asked if we would pray in our prayer language under our breath as we wait.
Now, mind you, I grew up in a spirit-filled church but really haven't been in one for a long time. Not one that speaks in tongues or uses their own prayer languages for maybe twenty years. I can't even tell you when the last time I spoke in my own prayer language to God. So, as I sat there, I guess just in obedience, I started to pray. It wasn't a minute later that I felt the Holy Spirit totally warm me from the inside and tears just started to flow down my face. I couldn't stop. I just sat their sobbing. I was just overcome.
That would have been enough. An answer to my prayer of "God, where are you? I haven't felt you in a long time. Can you make yourself known." But, our host felt like the Lord had something to share to someone there. He said through her, "You don't need to worry about what you have been praying about. I have already prepared the way. Just praise me in song instead." I don't know if that word was intended for anyone else. But, I do know it was intended for me because of the anointing that was placed on me just before.
Needless to say we left the bible study right on time. When I got into the car and put music on each song was about God's love for us. It was humbling and beautiful all at the same time.
