No matter how I try to focus lately, it seems like my mind is always wandering to the endless unknown questions. You probably have a few of your own. These last few weeks have been a whirl wind of packing, working, moving, not working, cleaning, unpacking, and sickness. With all the changes, I thought I was holding up, but I guess it all can come crashing down emotionally if you are not careful. Now that I have the house unpacked, (Yeah, I'm done. I don't like stubbing my toe on the same box twice.) I have been questioning God with, "Now what?" "Do I find another part time job?" "Do I homeschool?" "Do I find a preschool for Ethan for next year?" Those seem like silly questions when listed on paper. But, in the moment, they are important.
Over all, I know that I need to enjoy what we have right now. Our new home is quite cozy and lovely. It has never been so quiet as it is in our backyard. It is amazing that we live in the city surrounded by homes and I can't hear anything but birds chirping all day long. We have seedlings growing in a little greenhouse for our raised beds. I even have a window garden growing inside.
I was able to be reminded in bible study this last week that anxiety doesn't come from the Lord. "An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up," Proverbs 12:25. I know that I can think about something so much that I easily loose my joy. It is amazing the joy that can fill you up when you are thinking of others and not your circumstance.
